RE: phone

It's all my fault, so just forget about it.

phone

I saw your comment and then your blog thing from today. I did call your cell phone either Thursday or Friday afternoon, can't remember, and left a message saying if you wanted to get together some time, to let me know. I didn't know that you wouldn't get the message yourself. It was intended for you. I'm sorry I caused bad trouble. That was not my intention, but I guess you don't believe that and nothing I say will change what's happened.

RE: Re: hey

Your welcome :)

Well, you're staying busy as usual. Later in the day won't work for me on Saturday or Sunday, so I guess the weekend is a no-go. Hmm, I'm heading to Florida on Tuesday, returning on Saturday, so there's another week.

Re: Re: hey

I'm not assuming anything, but thanks for the warning.

I can do maybe a late lunch on Saturday, or Sunday evening some time, I think.

Re: Re: hey

It doesn't matter, whatever works best for you. Let's see, I have a hair cut at 11:00 on Saturday, but that's it.

I need to punch this lady over here - she wiped out two days of work. There's nothing like wasted time.

Hey, I'm leaving at 3:30, so don't assume anything if I don't respond for awhile.

Re: hey

Okay, what did you have in mind? Saturday? Sunday?

Re: hey

Sure and no.

hey

Did you still have any interest in getting together this weekend, or are you keeping your distance?

RE: Hi

Geez, I didn't know I was on the clock. Actually, I wasn't sitting at the computer, so I would ... nah, forget it, it is crazy to explain that. Anyway, I'm going to the store. Talk to you later.

RE: Hi

You know what I'm talking about. You wait a long time before responding to me. You've been doing it for awhile.

RE: Hi

What?

Well, I lost interest in blogging, but I still read'm.

RE: Hi

Am I supposed to be waiting awhile before responding to you, too?

I thought you were done with the blogs.

RE: Hi

That local joint with the crazy work people, but it was boring.

I just looked at her blog. She is insane.

RE: Hi

Oh. Where did you go?

No, I haven't finished it. The book clubs are lame. Nothing really going on there.

RE: Hi

Oh. Where did you go?

No, I haven't finished it. The book clubs are lame. Nothing really going on there.

RE: Hi

I know you're not difficult to be around. Well, I went out last night, drank a bit, but that was the first in a long time and it'll be a awhile before it happens again.

You ever finish your crochet project? How's your book clubs going?

RE: Hi

Yeah, well, you don't have to worry about it. You're drinking again? Oh well, I guess that's another thing that is none of my business.

RE: Hi

Difficult to be around, no way! I had a couple, okay a few, drinks last night and I slept well, so maybe it'll work for you.

Nah, I didn't have any (of your present).

RE: Hi

Being sleep deprived makes me pretty difficult to be around, so you should feel lucky that you're not. Maybe I'll have a couple of drinks.

Uh, ok. You're having my present?

RE: Hi

All that exercise and still no sleep? I'd give you a sleeping pill if I had one. I've discovered working all the time helps me sleep.

Nah, I've done all of my yelling. I think I've said everything that I wanted to say (over the years). Besides, it's no fun to kick somebody when their down. I'm more nervous at seeing him since he's in bad (or worse) shape.

It's really nice outside, cooled off (I guess you know that). I think I'll take a walk - maybe grill out a steak. Maybe I'll have some of your present with my meal (no, it's not what you think).

RE: Hi

Just kidding, you can do whatever you want, of course. None of my business.

No, I cannot sleep.

Are you going to yell at him? You want to make sure you get it all out before he goes? Maybe you'll feel less nervous once you get there.

RE: Hi

Yeah, thanks for the reminder, I do have project stuff to tackle. I'm starting to regret saying yes to it. Well, a day lounging around isn't so bad - have you been able to catch up with the sleep?

I'm going to see dad tomorrow, and I'm really nervous. After five or so strokes and a heart attack - it doesn't seem like he can last much longer, but I keep thinking that. Oh well, I hope you're resting.

RE: Hi

Oh, shouldn't you be working? Why are you doing nothing? A couple of things I had scheduled today ended up cancelled or postponed, so I haven't done much. I need to try to catch up on sleep.

RE: Hi

Hey, well I hope you didn't overdo it at the gym, but it sounds like you had fun. It is certainly more exciting than my day, I've been doing nothing.

Oh, and "hi" back atcha.

Hi

Hey there,

I hope you are having a good weekend. I guess the drugs are finally having an effect on me; I had the energy and desire to work out today. I rowed, ran and we did this Fit in 30 thing, where they play disco music and we were dancing and being retarded (nobody else in there, thank god). Exciting life I lead, isn't it.

Just thought I'd say hi. So -- "Hi"

RE: I guess

I don't want or expect you to praise or shower me with attention. I didn't think you had been doing that, but maybe I missed that too. If you're angry (about something specific), just tell me and I can respond, explain, or accept it. We can't read each other's mind. The only frame of mind I returned with was dead-ass tired.

I'm going to bed, so I'll call you tomorrow (or not if you say don't). I hope you sleep well.

RE: I guess

We are friends. Okay, yes, I was hurt because I knew you were back, or at least I thought you were, and I had an expectation that I would hear from you. You see? It's my own fucking fault. I do it to myself, alright? I hurt myself. I didn't know whether I should or shouldn't contact you. I didn't know what frame of mind you would be in when you got back. Whether you finally decided that we shouldn't be in contact. I didn't really want to put myself out there to get hurt again. I feel like you somehow expect me to shower you with attention and praise over and over again so that I can get rejected again and again.

And yes, I have anger, as well. I don't want to keep going over this, especially in e-mail. Frankly, I'll always have anger. I have done my best to do everything you want me to do, but I do have feelings.

RE: I guess

I expected to be friends. And, you know I would've contacted you. Also, I forgot to take my list of addresses so no post cards were mailed (well, one sent to Branden because I know my own home address). I was so tired when I finally got home late Sunday, ended up sleeping a lot on Monday. You know how that goes. I was surprised by the tone of your emails - you seemed angry and it took me by surprise. I didn't know what I had done since we seemed okay when I left, but maybe I missed something. I seem to keep hurting you.

RE: I guess

I expected to be friends. And, you know I would've contacted you. Also, I forgot to take my list of addresses so no post cards were mailed (well, one sent to the boy because I know my own home address). I was so tired when I finally got home late Sunday, ended up sleeping a lot on Monday. You know how that goes. I was surprised by the tone of your emails - you seemed angry and it took me by surprise. I didn't know what I had done since we seemed okay when I left, but maybe I missed something. I seem to keep hurting you.

RE: I guess

And I don't know what you want from me or what you want to hear from me. I didn't ask you to explain anything. I didn't ask you for anything. Of course you don't owe me any explanation of what you've been doing, nor did I expect one. We're not together. I do not, however, know that you would have contacted me. I don't want to fight with you. You like your space, you're doing your thing, living your life, whatever you want to do. What is the problem?

RE: I guess

I'm not sure what I am supposed to say. I feel like I'm supposed to explain my every move since returning from vacation, but I won't. Yes, I would've contacted you - you know that. I did bring something back for you, but I guess that doesn't matter. Yes, I do like my space plus I'm juggling a few things, but that is nothing new.

RE: I guess

Am I wrong? You usually correct me quickly when you say I misinterpret your actions or put words in your mouth or something. Since you didn't contact me for awhile after you got back, and then only because I e-mailed you, I figured you wanted your space, as you did before.

RE: I guess

Uhm, okay.

I've only been back from vacation since late Sunday and I've been busy with work - the daily grind, taking over site management for another place, and the ongoing project stuff. I may be heading to Florida next week, but still trying to set that up.

Well, I hope you are doing okay.

RE: I guess

I'm trying to give you the space you seem to want and I thought we weren't talking about feelings anymore. It's my own craziness, my own stupidity and my own problems to deal with. I'm angry at myself.

I guess

You're angry with me and I don't know the reason, unless it is just a culmination of everything. I guess friendship was a bad idea? Well, I'm sorry for whatever I've done - and everything else.

Take care.

RE: Are you back?

That's nice.

I'm wonderful, thanks for asking.

RE: Are you back?

Hey,

It was a good trip all around, the flight was long but uneventful. I guess I didn't miss anything here, how are you doing?

Are you back?

Hi, I'm sure you two had a great time. I think you were scheduled to get back last night. How was the flight?

Are you back?

Hi,

I'm sure you two had a great time. I think you were scheduled to get back last night. How was the flight?

I know

I'm not supposed to say this.

I know that I'll never have you for myself but I love you.

No need to respond. Just wanted to send that out to you.

RE: Rapture

I'll be in Paris for Bastille Day (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastille_Day)

RE: Take another look

Yeah, I guess I won't see you before Friday. No, I still have some project stuff to finish along with articles plus rolling out an application tomorrow. I'll work a half day Friday and then no technology or work for a week.

RE: Rapture

You have to leave a few jokes for me to make. I still get to make you laugh.

Yeah.

RE: Rapture

Yeah, I know, I'm disappointed too.

Ah, just another day.

Take another look

LOL. We communicate so well. You're busy so I suppose I won't see you until after your vacation. Do you have everything done that you wanted to have done before you go?

RE: Rapture

You didn't? I'm shocked and amazed.

Hope you're enjoying your 4th.

RE: Rapture

Ha, I didn't even make that connection. You have such a filthy mind ;)

53 hot dogs in a dozen minutes?? Disgusting.

I like the end of that article - "...Eric "Badlands" Booker, a 425-pound subway conductor from Long Island who holds speed-eating records for pies and matzo balls."

RE: Rapture

Oh well.

Um, are those two related in your mind? The book about the blow job and gorging on hot dogs? Yeah, I'm gonna go get me some.

RE: Rapture

Oh, yeah, maybe not. I thought it was an odd story since it only involves two people and mostly their thoughts. I have some of her other books.

RE: Rapture

Oh, yeah, maybe not. I thought it was an odd story since it only involves two people and mostly their thoughts. I have some of her other books.

Rapture

I just read that Rapture book you handed me at the library book sale. Maybe I shouldn't have at this time, but I couldn't put it down, hard as it was to read. Another story about another doomed relationship. Oh well.

RE: Hope it helps

I don't think those silver shoes count as flip flops. At work, I noticed this one guy wearing actual flips flops (the ones that look like they were weaved like a basket) and some of the women wear the ones that people wear in public showers (or not public).

I'm sure you're the best dressed.

RE: Hope it helps

Ok, let me know if you change your mind.

Uh-oh, I've been wearing them. Can I wear the silver ones I had on today? Dressy enough?

Even on days when I wear flip-flops, I'm often still the best-dressed one there. Oh snap!

RE: Hope it helps

Thank you, no need to bother them, I'll continue to ping a few people. Nah, really, no need to bother them. If I don't get enough, they can fill in whatever they want.

Don't wear flip flops at work - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13679134?GT1=8307

RE: Hope it helps

He is always great.

Don't tell me what to do.

I'm sorry. Maybe you can get a quote from those other guys. What do you think?

RE: Hope it helps

I'm sure she is feeling well, but let's hope it is good.

You need to pay attention.

Crap, this article is driving me crazy. I did resend a note to that one guy as well as a request to my instructor. Let's hope somebody responds (or wants to talk) before Friday. If not, oh well, maybe I can quote you or your boss.

RE: Hope it helps

Yeah, I remember that night well. What a dumb book. I'm glad I didn't buy Einstein's Dreams. That's one to miss. Let's see, I've lost track, is she sick or non-sick today?

Lord, I think I missed something on this show. They seem to be setting up dogs as well as people on dates.

RE: Hope it helps

Ha.

Yes, it was my introduction to that club - and I stayed. Hey, at least you didn't pick Einstein's Dreams. I wonder if she sold her copy in the yard sale?

I was just watching a woman getting ready for a labiaplasty (not sure what channel, now checking out Trading Places on Comedy Central.

RE: Hope it helps

And sometimes it's not! ha.

I don't remember a damned thing about that book except that it sucked hard.
Was she? Was that the first book you read when you joined the book club? I seem to recall maybe it was. God, and I picked it. I can sure pick 'em.

This Lovespring International on 35 is pretty funny. Yes, Lifetime. Are you man enough?

RE: Hope it helps

Very true.

Was she really a seal wife?

Ah well, at times it's easy to doubt yourself.

I didn't mean you kept me too long. I was just surprised. Sorry if I kept you from all your duties. ;)

I'm reading another Kathryn Harrison book. (Remember The Seal Wife?) She's one of those who keeps writing multiple memoirs. This is one of those. Some of the stuff she's getting into seems very silly, but that might be because she's already covered the bigger stuff in her earlier memoirs. Oh well, it's better than The Seal Wife.

RE: Hope it helps

You shouldn't doubt yourself. You are fun to be around. Also, I hear your jokes kill!

Yeah, I guess I should've been working (thanks for reminding me), but I was having fun. I'm sorry if I kept you too long.

RE: Hope it helps

I'm fine. I still don't know why all these people want to spend all this time with me, but I'm grateful. I have some good friends.

I was surprised you talked to me for so long tonight. I figured you'd rush off to work or whatever.

No, didn't hear from him.

RE: Hope it helps

I like your confidence, but I'm not sure.

I'm not sure I believe the 'wonderful' declaration, but I hope it is close to the truth. You were talking about going swimming, to the movie, and other stuff you've been doing (you're definitely popular), and I realized that I've actually worked every day for the past few weeks. Oh well, I'm taking a break soon.

These stories are old, so it may have been before she became a hit.

RE: Hope it helps

Well, I'll review it or whatever you want. I wasn't sure exactly what you wanted me to do. It'll be good.

Like I said, everything is wonderful.

Hm, I'm glad you like McSweeney's. There's some interesting stuff in there. Funny that they'd publish someone as established as Homes, but then again, she's a bit edgy, so I guess that's how she fits. Maybe we can talk about it some time.

RE: Hope it helps

It was nice to sit and chat. Your mood seemed better. It was great to see your smile.

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention. I subscribed to McSweeney's (couldn't resist) and they sent The Better Of McSweeney's as a bonus (I still haven't received the actual journal, it is back-ordered). Anyway, it contained an A.M. Homes story. It's the only thing I've read lately, but the few I've seen are good.

Hope it helps

Hi,

I don't know if anything I did on that article is of any use to you, probably not, but you've got it under control. Sorry I wasn't more help. Let me know if I can do anything else on it. Nice to see you.

RE: Article info

I dunno, the library, a bookstore, or maybe a Starbucks or something like that works.

Seriously, let me know if you don't feel like messing with it. I know you're not feeling well, so it's no big deal.

RE: Article info

It doesn't much matter to me. Just let me know.

RE: Article info

It doesn't much matter to me. Just let me know.

RE: Article info

Well, whatever works best for you. I hope you had a chance to rest/relax this weekend. How's the car?

RE: Article info

Alright, I'll take a look at it. We can meet after you get off work tomorrow. Tell me where.

Article info

Hey, I've attached the article assignment and a rough (very rough) first draft. If you have any time, let me know your thoughts. We could meet tomorrow or Monday (I'm working during the day) to discuss. I just wanted to get something down to serve as a starting point for me (it helps me to actually write something, no matter how bad).