Hm

I don't know if I know how to make this friends thing work. I couldn't understand how you could tell me you wanted to be with me and then disappear, come back, and tell me you didn't need me and didn't want me to love you and then want us to be pals. Then you tell me the plan is still for you to split -- but then when I said, but you said you don't want me then, either, you confirmed that that was the case (why bring it up then?). Or how you can tell me you love me and think all these wonderful things about me but don't want me. Or how you can just turn it off and be my buddy so quickly. Plus, of course, I remember all the other times you did that and then came back to me. I can't even remember how many times that has happened. I just cannot understand any of it. I cannot.

I want to be there for you, I do, just like I always have been, because even though you say you don't, I still think you need me. But you have to know that it is so fucking hard for me. So fucking hard. I never know what to think. I never know what to do. I never know what to say. You clearly don't want me talking about my feelings or asking questions and I don't know how that works. Please tell me how you do it because I don't know how.