Tough

You ever sit back and wonder how you arrived at this point in your life? It is funny (not ha-ha) the decisions we make and the ramifications of each move. I guess it is all a big game of chance. These days I've been feeling a bit scared - scared to make any kind of move. I'm not really worried about making the right move, but I'm very afraid of being wrong. My emotions have been all over the place this past week; it was good to spend some time alone. I was very angry at you and then I wasn't and then I was again, but I'm not now. Really, there was never any reason to be angry with you in the first place. It is more an issue of being angry with me. It is tough to hurt people knowing the blame is solely on my shoulders. Years from now you'll reflect on all of this and realize you dodged a bullet. No, I'm not feeling sorry for myself and I'm not depressed (just in case you're thinking it). I just need to reel myself in and keep an emotional distance from others - less chance of causing trouble.

There was no big point to this message. I just wanted to let you know that I'm alright and I hope you are good. We always seemed to communicate well. I scanned your blog and see that you are doing very well. You deserve good friends and people around you. I always said that you were likeable - just give people a chance to get to know you.

Take care.

"Like all dreamers I confuse disenchantment with truth." -- Jean-Paul Sartre