Tough weekend

I guess I didn’t know what to expect when everything was laid on the table. It was much harder than I anticipated. Funny, I envisioned her hating me, but no – or not yet. I thought there would be some relief, but it doesn’t feel that way right now. This is hard to express, but my leaving feels like my abandoning [him]. I know it is weird, but I spend more time with him than [her]. It hasn’t been about her for a long time. [he] and I usually hang out when I (eventually) get home at night, mornings on the weekend and so forth. Even though he is not technically my son, I feel responsible for him. It is corny, but I don’t want to be my dad (or even Kenny) and turn my back on him. He’s said some things lately to make it even harder. Yeah, he’ll be out of school soon enough, so maybe that’ll help. I don’t know.

I’m staying at a motel tonight – don’t know about tomorrow. I just need some time by myself or it seems that way. I was going to call you earlier, but I know you had your dinner planned and it seemed better to not dump things on you. I’m okay, so don’t worry. I hope you’re having a good weekend. I’ll talk to you soon.